Top 10 resources for unhitching
Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is just show up.
In January 2022, we broke out of our gloomy wintering to share our Top 10 fav resources for separation and divorce over social media. The highlights are summarized here for easy browsing and an easy place to start if you don’t quite know where to begin.
Number 1: mysupportcalculator.ca
We agreed this is our top go-to legal resource that we keep bookmarked to accurately calculate child support amounts each year (and where you can calculate spousal support amounts too).
It's super easy to understand, and there is a basic, free version and also a premium, fee-based version if your situation is more complicated.
A very close second that almost made this a tie is the really helpful Family Law Portal. More than 200 family law experts collaborated to create this free online resource (for Ontario law FYI).
Number 2. Money Master Class with Gail Vaz-Oxlade
Our mutual top pick for a fantastic and fun financial glow up was the Money Master Class hosted over Twitter in 2020 by Canadian financial guru Gail Vaz-Oxlade.
Want to finally learn how to realistically budget? How to have fun visualizing your debt and paying it down? How to meet your goals beyond just paying your bills, and staying afloat while you do it? Then this no nonsense self-paced overview is for you.
Gail's spending analysis worksheet is a particularly useful tool if you are getting used to running a household on a solo income again and you want to see where your money is going and coming from!
If you’re looking for more money tips, we’ve also posted new content on unhitch.ca on financial planning for separation and divorce (members also get access to a Financial Planning 101 checklist).
Number 3. Yoga with Adriene
Today we are highlighting one of our top coping resources: Yoga with Adriene or YWA as her groupies (us) call it.
We were fans even before the pandemic, charmed by Adriene's down-to-earth humour and any-level inclusiveness. The free part also doesn't hurt. And since 2020, YWA has been a life raft in our work/play/parent all under one roof home-lives.
Are we sometimes doing this in our pjs drinking coffee? Yes. Is it hard to have a zen yoga practice with kids, pets, partners, work and the mess of life all around. Definitely yes. Do we think we have gained something by just doing it anyway and mostly imperfectly? Also yes.
This truly is yoga for everyone, even the dog.
Looking for more coping and well-being resources? We have lists of things we tried and liked at unhitch.ca including extra content just for members.
Today we are highlighting our favourite podcasts for coping, healing, and thriving during separation and divorce (really, just for coping with being human most days, but also yes, for unhitching).
It's a solid tie for us between Dear Sugars and Brené Brown’s Unlocking Us.
In both cases, you'll get compassion, insight, humour, brevity and good advice on handling the ups and downs of living, loving, breaking up, parenting, working, pandemics ... and much more.
The unhitch community also added these podcasts to our list in response to this post:
Number 5. Kindful Psychology
This was hard to narrow down to just one. We love our therapist Michelle McKitrick (who will be our next Live presenter on March 3!).
But we also really want to highlight the services, groups and workshops offered in person or online by the wonderful clinicians at Kindful Psychology, including the Mindful Self-Compassion Essentials.
We've really benefited from these mental health allies and advocates, especially dealing with the big feelings that come with separation and divorce (guilt, anger, resentment, overwhelm, fatigue, fear, confusion to name *a few*).
Number 6: Dr. Ramani
Today we are taking a moment to highlight some extra resources for anyone dealing with a toxic or narcissistic ex.
If you are, and you’re worrying about the impact this is having on yourself and your kids, we suggest starting with Doctor Ramani Durvasula.
She's a clinical psychologist, author, and expert on narcissism and how to deal with the conflict and stress these people bring into our lives. If you are struggling with this situation, she has plenty to say about how to get through it.
You can browse through her books, a TED talk, her YouTube channel and her website, all of which offer plenty of compassionate advice and sound strategies to understand and navigate these difficult relationships.
Number 7. Our Family Wizard
Parenting through divorce is like riding a rollercoaster some days. Co-parenting is like being the rollercoaster.
We talk about this in a new post on our website, and here we offer a fav platform tailor-made with this journey in mind.
Our Family Wizard makes communication and decision making easier between households, giving you and your ex a shared (and neutral) portal for your custody schedule, kids expenses, conversations and more.
You can also give your kids and other family members or guardians access to certain features within your portal, serving as a little hub you can make your own.
And if you find yourself in a high conflict situation, this app is often court-mandated because it time-stamps when each message was sent and read. If needed, you can give your lawyer or judge access to all your messages as an organized record.
It even has a "tone meter" to nudge you back towards diplomacy if your language gets a little ... salty.
Number 8: The New Family podcast
Parenting through divorce is a hot topic in our unhitch community and worthy of two favs.
If you are looking for information and inspiration on navigating two (or more!) household lives, look no further than The New Family website and in particular, their podcast.
They have over 200 episodes in their collection, including interviews with a diversity of people whose stories represent the changing face of family, as well as top parenting experts, authors, comedians, filmmakers and much, much more.
There’s a lot of camaraderie and beauty to be found here for anyone raising kids, asking questions, and looking to feel part of a wider community.
Number 9: Effin Birds
Do you sometimes just need a laugh, a moment's distraction, a breath of fresh gallows humour?
We recommend following the social media accounts of Effin Birds, a store dedicated to filling your house and heart with, as they say, "lavishly-illustrated and profane messages" for the real world.
Check them out online at and follow them on social media!
Number 10. Esther Perel
There is a reason we mention Esther Perel Every. Single. Chance. We. Get.
She's brilliant, insightful, compassionate and a powerful advocate for "relational intelligence." Yes, you do need to know what this is.
Whether you are single, married, divorced, starting a new relationship or looking to revive an old one, you need to hear what Esther has to say.
Stop reading this and go over to her website! Seriously, she'll change your life and your mind about a whole lot of things when it comes to marriage, sex, love, fidelity, joy, desire and so much more.
We offer affordable access to the experts on family law, financial health, real estate, health and wellbeing and more through our Live Q&A Events. Browse and register for our upcoming events—these one-hour virtual gatherings are an ideal way to get a friendly overview of separation and divorce from professionals in the field. Members get a discount on all events and the opportunity to submit questions ahead of time to our speakers.